First, the article I first found featured a bartender who’s signature drink is a “White Gummy Bear Martini”.  That sounds wrong on a couple of levels–a “martini” that features peach schnapps, lime juice and Sprite (along with raspberry vodka), or a drink in general that tastes like a white gummy bear.

Something else bothered me about the article, though–what are the odds that a bartender from TGIFridays could make something as prestigious as the World Bartender Championships?

And how could something as prestigious as the World Bartender Championships base 50% of the score on “flair-tending”?

So I did some deeper digging–turns out, this wasn’t the World Bartender Championships, but a regional qualifying round for the real World Championships, which are held in the spring.

Oh, and it’s technically called the TGIFriday’s World Bartender Championship–so the final “Champion” is really the best bartender for a chain restaurant, the best of a group that makes up what, probably less than 1% of all bartenders nationwide?  Yeah, congratulations.

I’m a bit shocked that this gets coverage from places like the NBC affiliate in Dallas-Fort Worth–you’d think they could find some kitten stuck in a tree or something that is more newsworthy and less corporate sponsored than the World Bartender Championships (unless that cat in a tree was brought to you by Little Giant Ladders).

If you ask me, something named the World Bartender Championship should be a real event, with bartenders from any bar eligible, and broadcast on ESPN6–it’s got to be as much sport as poker.

As for who would get my vote?  It’d be the guy (or gal…hell, more likely the gal) that can get me my drink the quickest, and without spilling a drop.  I’d add strongest, but I usually drink my whiskey on the rocks, which is tough to screw up (although I’ve seen it happen…very possibly at TGIFriday’s).

Perhaps the funniest part of the story?  In Hollywood, even the police get celebrity spokespeople:

“Jason Lee, a police spokesman, said no one was injured in either incident.”

Nice to know he’s already got a side gig lined up for when Earl goes off the air.

Our boy Hugh Hefner has reportedly offered them $1 million to pose together for the January 2008 issue.  No word on if that’s $1 million apiece, or for the package.  For Anderson, it would extend her record of times appearing sans clothing in the men’s magazine, currently at 12.  For Richards, it would be her second appearance, after posing for the December 2004 issue.  The pair became friends while filming Blonde and Blonder together (I’m guessing you’ll want to stop blinking if you want to catch that one in the theater).

Possibly the more interesting tidbit in this Playboy story, though, comes at the end–Britney Spears, apparently sensing that her career is on the steepest part of her slope downwards, reportedly contacted Playboy and offered to pose for $1 million (the same amount the mag reportedly offered her back in 2004).  Our guess: In a year, she’s going to wish that she had taken the $400,000 counter offer. Especially since she seems to already have a knack for showing off the goods on the Interweb.